Forget. Me.Not

i wrote this entry on facebook but since i want to keep my blogs here. i will post it.

I cant stop it. sometimes i just cant stop thinking where i will be in 40 years. will i be proud of what ive done? Will i regret certain memories? meeting a person? Will i scorn myself for listening to the crowd rather than my own heart? for doing things that made me "what i'm not"? whatever it is, there is a long way to go, yet.
there is one thing that keeps bugging me and that is: fear about growing old.. i think ive learned to deal with death..i know that somehow is always around the corner.
im talking about real stuff. like alzheimer's disease. dear, thats a big one there. i think my worst fear about growing old wont be staying in a nursing home for the rest of my life or being lonely..or forgotten by my own family...cuz i can always escape ^_^ and overall...i would have my memories. my dear beloved treasured memories.
thats why alzheimer's scares me so bad. imagine forgetting all the best moments in ur life from ur first times, to giving birth, to raising ur kids. watch all those moments dissapear in front of ur eyes, FOR A DISEASE, forgetting ur own family, forgetting who YOU ARE, forgetting all those moments you shared with your closest people. its so traumatic. no kidding. its my nightmare.
there is a video on youtube called "my name is Lisa". it recently won third place on Project Direct ( a competition sponsored by youtube to make ur own movies).
anyway, that short is awesome. it deserved first place ( well the first place winner is awesome, too) . the movie/short is pretty sad but so truth. hope u can watch it and gimme sum feedback. lol. ( i sounded like one of those "bloggers" from youtube)