It has been almost two months since I last updated my blog! And though I edited and posted some drafts that I had written over the past few weeks, this is the first time in a while that I have sat down in my computer to write. Writing truly relaxes me. It's the only means (currently) that I have to figure out my thoughts, pains and joys, and venting some steam off too.
In my new job I have to use my laptop constantly to check on my email for office-related work, connections, meetings and to screen and prepare Deferred Action cases. after 6+ hours of sitting in front of a screen, all I want is to NOT use a computer anymore. I have more or less stopped writing because of my work schedule, mental exhaustion, personal events and one great idea that is on the way of becoming a reality and that I have been working on with four former high school friends. An idea for a non-profit that will service the immigrant and Youth community in NYC. But more on that some other time.
For now, I just want to throw some interesting links I encountered today while surfing the web (actually facebooking):
The following link is a video of two female Swedes who developed an invisible bike helmet. Go women scientists!
This is a beautiful and heartfelt video of the artist Marina Abramovic meeting a former love of hers while at her MoMa performance exhibition "The Artist Is Present". It has an incredible backstory that you can find HERE. Go cry now.
The next link is an article titled "How To spot a Misogynist" and I want to blog about it because I have decided to recognize and share some misogynistic encounters in my life recently, maybe they go back to pretty much all my life but they are finally ringing an alarming bell in my head...anyway...here we go
Couple of weeks I was having a conversation with my dad about the usual, Venezuelan politics, and I somehow slipped a "nojoda" which is kind of like a slang in Venezuela for "dont fuck with me"but is a much less threatening word in spanish than it sounds is English. My dad decided to get offended all of a sudden by my use of the word, after the 1,000,000th time I've used it with him. He went off to declare how it isn't womanly of me to say such a word, that women shouldn't curse because it looks bad. He proceeded to give me an example of his dogs, a male (Jack) and female (Annie), and how Jack tends to be more aggressive and competitive while Annie is much more "delicate" and obedient than him. All this time, I jus couldn't believe that my dad, a sociologist-anthropologist-political analyst,spiritual and sex guru could make such a backward comment. I remember, my grandma telling me similar stuff when I was a kid, she wouldn't even let me whistle (that wasn't womanly)but she's 86 years old and comes from a very traditional background so I wouldn't argue with her. However my dad is a different story...I was thinking something like this: I AM A SMART, CLASSY, INTELLECTUAL, CONFIDENT YOUNG LADY WHO LIKES TO SAY FUCK but what I actually said had to do with my outrage at his comment and how anthropologically wrong he was about it lol.
Maybe it is because I was raised here but in that moment I felt very American, that doesn't happen often. I'm not even going to call it a generational problem because my father is a very progressive person in general. Maybe it was a slip...
I am also sick and tired of my trolling facebook "friends", sometimes they just show you such an ugly part of themselves it makes you wonder why you were ever friends with them in the first place. I'm talking about men who like to preach upon the world about how women should live, act, dress, write, blah blah etc etc. JUST STFU about it and grow up because all I feel for you now is pity. You know what your attitude says to me? You just don't stack up to get some of this ;)
This is probably the reason why I spend more time on twitter and I no longer post as much as I used to there. I can't tolerate stupidity and immaturity anymore.
Look, I've unfortunately been attacked in the past by men who truly seemed to be threatened by my independence and confidence. Confidence is dangerous, I've been told by a guy in the past, using an apple tree as a metaphor that I was an apple just too "high" for him to reach, that he would rather pick up the "rotten" apples than reach higher for quality. I mean, come on, it's kind of pathetic come to think of it, especially because I really liked this guy. The fact that I thought about dumbing myself down for him is incredible, I'm just thankful I didn't go through with it. I've also been called a "dominator", a "I'm a woman, hear me roar" kind of woman and at first I felt pretty hurt that my personality would come off that way to them. But I realized this happens to many other women, especially the professional or outspoken kind, I finally felt vindicated and it became clear to me that these men are insecure about themselves and those insecurities turned into the words uttered by them.
I've also found out years later that X guy liked me at one point but never had the courage to tell me. That's more of a personal issue and has nothing to do with me. How am I supposed to guess when someone likes me? The longest relationship that I had started because the guy I was dating came forward about his feelings for me even though he never thought anything between us would actually happen. See? All it takes is some courage... And I love a man who can be both vulnerable and strong with me. It's your essence!
I love individuals who just can't get enough of learning about this world, who enjoy long conversations about different topics, and who help you to grow into a fuller and more complex person without having to give up or hide each other's essential views. And luckily, this is not a fantasy, I've met people who fit into this category but they are so hard to find!
When you find them, grab them and never let them go (unless you eventually outgrow them...then it's a different story) Good bye apples rhetoric!
that said...
