As seen on Craiglist a few mins ago:
"looking 4 sexy hot performing oyster shucking robots (Lower East Side)
Popular LES soul jazz bar/tavern is looking for asexual robots, models r3710 thru r3710-2.0. Must be interesting stage performers with a love of oysters and cooking, who can entertain curious customers on a brightly lit stage, while murdering oysters and slurping their still twitching bodies down their throat and liking it or at least acting like you like it. Similar to a summering carney geek in a strip mall in Gibsonton, Fla. Also heating and plating other items on our small menu. Must have a bright, friendly, open personality with exceptional communication skills that 99.99999% of the population have been genetically program to find appealing by what ever God you believe in, if any. Race, Creed, Sexual Orientation, Age, Sex, or Bar Code status UNIMPORTANT. All tips made in the bar, including bartenders, servers, and shuckers are pooled and divided evenly 100%, equal pay for equal work (up to $300 or $400 a night, per person). Restocking will be required. Picture will be used in obscure, but legit, constitutionally protected, soul sucking ritual, involving chicken feet and body fluids (you don't want to know) to determine your level of evil, (please include return address for soul or return cannot be guaranteed) A picture of your self, a lock of your hair and a picture of your fingernail clippings, with resume will be required for ritual or there is a small but still significant chance you will become a face eating, end times, zombie robot."
