Something I wrote the night of October 27th, 2010:
the night i told him we were taking a break i was so numb, so confused, so out that all i could do was sleep, and forget.
the first day it was finally sitting on me what i had done. I didnt speak to him the whole day, and i knew well enough i wasnt gonna see him later like i usually did tuesday nights. I was taking back my decision, wondering why i had said that, and if it had been the right choice. i was so out of this world, and at the same time, keeping my mind busy. then i went to bed as soon as i got home.
the second day i woke up feeling a little better about this decision. I did it because i really love him, and because in order for me to someday marry him, he needs to change, he needs to realize that there is gonna b a future between us. He needs to think about that future. He needs to stand up on his own. for him. for us. he needs to stop living in the shade of his parents. He needs to let go of his fears because his fears become my fears.
all i know now is that i love you and i really miss you. I hope this break helps us both understand each other and our future better.
