The scene between Trepliov and Nina in Chekhov's The Seagull has become one of my favorite two-character scene. This particular monologue from Nina got me! She is so melancholic and miserable for this final monologue starts, there are so many emotions to explore from the point of view of an actor. It's a very sad ending for these two characters but that is why it is so beautiful too. I don't really like this translation (by Elisaveta Fen) but it's what I have now:
Nina: Why did you say you kissed the ground where I walked? Someone ought to kill me. I am so tired. Oh, I wish I could rest...just rest! I'm a seagull...No, that's not it. I'm an actress, Oh, well! So he is here, too! Oh,well!...Never mind...Yes. ...He didn't believe in the theatre, he was always laughing at my dreams, and so gradually I ceased to believe, too, and lost heart...And then I was so preoccupied with love and jealousy, and a constant fear for my baby...I became petty and common, when I acted I did it stupidly...I didn't know what to do with my hands or how to stand on the stage, I couldn't control my voice....But you can't imagine what it feels like- when you know that you are acting abominably. I'm a seagull. No, that's not it again...Do you remember you shot a seagull?A man came along by chance saw it and destroyed it, just to pass the time... A subject for a short story...That's not it.What was I talking about?...yes, about the stage. I'm not like that now...Now I'm a real actress, I act with intense enjoyment, with enthusiasm; on the stage I am intoxicated and I feel I am beautiful. But now, while I'm living here, I go for walks a lot, I keep walking and thinking...thinking and feeling that I am growing stronger in spirit with every day that passes...I think I now know, Kostia, that what matters in our work-whether you act on the stage or write stories- what really matters, is not fame, or glamour, not the things I used to dream about, but knowing how to endure things. How to bear one's cross and have faith. I have faith now and I'm not suffering quite so much, and when I think of my vocation I'm not afraid of life."
