I'm having a best week ever over here, but it comes after two long, self-analytical, writing-inspired, spiritually-driven, self-doubting-and anxiously-filled, values-examining months of unemployment. As of yesterday, I am a staff member of the American Arab Association holding the position of Dream Organizer. I am immensely happy to be able to help other dreamers with their DACA applications, outreach around the community of Southwest BK and organize art-driven events to promote Immigration-related Advocacy among many other things! I am also SUPER scared as any thinking person would be in the face of change. I was also shit-scared today when I went for my audition for Repertorio Español, but I did it and I was so happy afterwards (but right before I stepped inside the theatre I was so nervous I could've run, I know it is the exhilaration of the moment), especially for my modern monologue which took me a long time to study.
Sometimes we are so blind to our own wonderful selves that even if people around us can see it, it is still not enough for us. Which is why I wanted you guys to check out Caits Messnier's blog "How to FLY without leaving the ground", she is a wonderful NYC artist and writer that I had the pleasure to meet two weeks ago while attending her writing workshop at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe. In her latest post Trapping That Salty Fish of Self-Doubt (&Eating For Dinner) she talks about facing and embracing our fears through artistic expression (painting, breathing, writing, dancing, etc..etc...etc) and that's all I need it to hear (or read) right now :)
"Get scared. It will do you good. Smoke a bit, stare blankly at some ceilings, beat your head against some walls, refuse to see some people, paint and write. Get scared some more. Allow your little mind to do nothing but function. Stay inside, go out - I don’t care what you’ll do; but stay scared as hell. You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself."
Albert Camus
